Showing posts with label Gambling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gambling. Show all posts

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Slots II - Way of Distraction - The Foil

Other things to do besides Slots

  • Jump out of a plane, preferably with a chute, blindfolded, and with a bunch of whistles glued to your helmet.

  • Use a bench grinder to do your nails.

  • Pet alligators! I mean, like you would pet a dog.

  • Go for a walk in a prison yard, screaming “You're all guilty!” while shaking a wet bar of soap in the air.

  • Introduce dental hygiene to hibernating Grizzly bears.

  • Eat delicious, sun-ripened egg salad sandwiches.

  • Go hunting with Dick Cheney. He needs a new buddy.

  • Walk around an archery club with an apple strapped to your head.

  • Go to an Irish wake and rubber stamp the stiff's forehead with “DEAD MIC”.

Remember, gambling is not really a contributor to the economy as it is a re-distributor of wealth. It's a way to take your money and give it to strangers, with some for community building and excellent port-o-potties, and even some to pay very expensive salaries to executives (don't forget those annual bonuses), and a chunk to a few gamblers who just walked in the door to play for the first time, further making you more frustrated and irritable, if.

I've noticed that the cups they used for the old token system are gone. They were they too expensive apparently. That, and a couple of older folks have accidentally sipped back their tokens. Casinos never show people that run themselves, and their families, into huge debt chasing that one big win, nor do they show the hangers in the bathroom.




Responsibility

They do say, however, to gamble responsibly. Just how do they define responsible?



Do You Stop when:

  1. You have lost the money you budgeted and smile.
  2. You have lost a fair amount of money and lament the losses, and the busted budget.

  3. You have lost a lot of money and you hide it from your partner, and the bank.

  4. You have lost all your money, and your partner, and your dog bites you and then spits it out, and then it dies.

  5. You have lost more money from the recent loan you took out, and Tony doesn't like it much when you are late with your payment. Capiche?

  6. You have lost someone else monies, and that someone is the Seven-Eleven you visited the night before wearing your kids Halloween mask.

  7. It's a trick question. You never stop, that's just the way it works, right? Responsible gambling addicts;never met one!

ps. Click an ad on this page so I can get a penny for my thoughts! Thanx!

Monday, October 27, 2008

How to Win Gambling Without Gambling at the Slots - Part 1

Follow these five simple steps and you to can partially recover some money that otherwise would be wasted on a slot machine!
.
  1. I give you PayPal account
  2. You give me your PayPal account.

  3. You take the amount of money you spend at the slots each week, and deposit it in my PayPal account.

  4. Every two or three weeks, I will deposit up to half of what you deposited in my account, back into your PayPal account.

  5. Repeat.

I'm happy because I'm supplying a service to the gambling public. You are somewhat happy because you actually get some money back.

Another way to win at gambling without gambling on slots, don't gamble.

You are 100% ahead when you keep your money away from those strangers at casinos. Honestly, do you really feel good if someone you don't even know, gets happy and wealthy off your money? If you have to do something with that cash that involves strangers, buy a homeless guy a meal, or a car, or even better, a house and solve one homeless problem, or see above and ask for my PayPal account.

Other things you could gamble with might include paying for you kids or grand kids education, or see above and ask for my PayPal account. You could take a trip to Japan or China or Hong Kong, or see above and ask for my PayPal account. Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing Japan or China or Hong Kong.

Gambling is a distraction for most people more than anything else. "Slots" are merciless and cold and actual machines. They are not possessed by magic entities that you either piss off resulting in losses, or that you please and they reward you by dropping a pittance in your complimentary coin cup. Many people playing slots think that the machines run hot and cold, or that they improve their chances of winning by sticking with a machine, or that tiny trinkets rubbed on the screen of the machine will evoke the gods of dinaros to consider paying out. Personally, I think tripping and banging your head on a machine will get you the best return, after the casino insurance pays up.

Good plan, eh!

ps. Click an ad on this page so I can get a penny for my thoughts! Thanx!