Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Diets to Die For!

Diets aren't all they crack up to be, especially when celebrities and the like are involved. It's basically a numbers game. Calories in, calories out, or you go up or down depending on the imbalance. I decided to look at some of the pros and cons of diets the Hollywood Types follow and endorse.



The Drop Dead Gorgeous Diet (aka. Anna N Smith) Famous weight loser and TrimSpa fanatic and dead rich, not rich, rich person who, according to recent fake pictures, actually used Slim Fast as her foodlessness drink of choice. TrimSpa claimed this would be a violation of her contact and legal action would ensue if true. They would seek damages in the amount of half a billion and possession of Anna's new TrimSpa baby. The diet apparently goes like this. Take can of TrimSpa, chuck it in the garbage, take a can of Slim Fast and mix with methadone and a touch of booze. She did this because, apparently, most weight loss drinks contain little to no methadone or alcohol. She lost 60 lbs.and several million brain cells on this diet. She's no quitter. Her goal now is to take off the rest of pounds on her new Deep Six Diet.




Lance Armstrong's Plastic Testicle and EPO Diet.
Nuttin' better than hormones to take the edge off hard training for the Tour de Farce. Always the consummate athlete, Lance uses only the best vitamins and supplements and, of course, rare naturally occurring synthetic injectables, harvested from the dankest, darkest recesses of sports laboratories from around the world. Since his retirement Lance has changed over to a maintenance program entitled The Back Peddling Diet.






Kirstie Alley's - "I Ate Jenny Craig" Diet. First she ate Shelly Long, not much meat there. As the years went bye-bye Kirstie ran into trouble with love and food. She loves... food. Eventually she was engaged to sponsor, for money, the Jenny Craig empire. All the frozen sawdust dinners you can eat and, finally, a new show on television...30 seconds at a time... commercials.
More to follow...

1 comment:

  1. Denny, that is hilarious. You forgot that the Atkinson was the first to go with the Six Feet Deep diet which will likely spark a another lawsuit that poor Anna.

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