What I don't Know About Zoonoses

My Stupid Thoughts on Zoonoses.

My best guess regarding these tricky animal viruses. Zoonoses has nothing to do animal noses, but has everything to do with viruses that cross from animal to mankind and womankind.

• The Swine Flew! (Who knew pigs flu?) aka. Piggy flu, Porcine Bug, Porky Piggyitus, Bad Back Bacon Cold.

• Avian Influenza -It's for the birds. See Alfred Hitchcock.

• Vampirism – The biting flu. General consensus is that this virus sucks. Makes skin very sensitive to sunlight, and you can develop severe allergic reaction to garlic bread and wooden stakes.

• Bartonellosis (Cat Scratch Fever) is an infectious disease produced by bacteria of the genus Bart Simpson. Causes bad kids to scratch good cats.

• Werewolf Disease – Furry face disease, aka. The Gillette Razor Challenge Disease. aka The Robin Williams disease.

• Hanta-Virus – Viruses from houses that have ghosts. Also available in mouse poop and mouse urine flavours.
  

• Lassa Fever – Opposite of firsta fever. Nobody likes to be Lassa, even viruses.

• Herpes B Virus – The 80% virus. should have studied harder to get an “A”.

• Q Fever – A futuristic, omnipotent virus first encountered in the Alpha quadrant.

• Cowpox – Like chicken pox, only bigger, without the feathers and beaks. Got it's name from dairymaids touching the udders of infected cows. You get red blisters and it is transmitted by touch from infected animals to humans. This is the cool part- When it is gone, the person is immune to smallpox. Really!
  

• Sodoku – not to be confused with Sudoku fever or Saturday Night Fever.

• West Nile Virus – is there an East Nile virus? Why Not?
  

• Psittacosis- aka. parrot disease, parrot fever. Makes you crave for crackers and pirates.

• Rabies- Do not animals bite you. Do not bite other animals, no matter how delicious... they... look!

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